How do you get your employers and coworkers to understand that your job is only part of your life?
Being a mother never ends. You're a mom when the kids are at school, you're a mom when you're asleep and you are still a mom when you are at work.
I had a packed work schedule when I was in automotive sales. I worked 10 to 12 hours a day, five to six days a week. My "days off" were consumed with cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and all the things required to run a household and raise a child.
Toward the end of a particularly long workday, I decided to order my groceries online so I wouldn't have to stop before I got home and could have that added time with my son. There were no customers that needed any help and we were closing in ten minutes. A male coworker peered over my shoulder and with a look of disgust he exclaimed, "You need to do that on your own time!"
I was instantly upset! Here I was, a top producer and hard worker and I could not be afforded ten minutes to order groceries! I turned to him and said,
"You know how your wife buys the groceries, cooks the dinner and cleans the house? Well, I am my wife!"
He shrunk back with a look of understanding, but this told me how little my coworkers thought of my life outside of work. Well, I didn't! I knew I had to keep work and home balanced and if a ten minute break to order groceries was a taboo then too bad!
How do you get your employers and coworkers to understand that you are a mother first? How do you get time to go to the basketball games, doctor visits and school plays without being shamed for it?
Give Ample Notice
It is understandable that your employer hired you to do a job. They expect you to execute and of course you should! I prided myself in being a valuable employee that produced ahead of time, not just on time. That way when I needed a day or a few hours to do something for my son my employer would not be upset that I had left tasks undone. As single mothers, we know that things come up and we don't always have someone else to help us take care of it.
Give your employer notice of the game you need to attend or the dentist appointment coming up well in advance. Most employers will give you leeway for such things.
Stop Caring
The cold hard truth is your employers and coworkers simply won't care or understand all it takes to be a single mother. You have to make the money, buy the bacon AND fry it up. There's no real way to get someone who does not live your reality to understand how many things are on your plate.
I was very vocal about how much I had going on, but you don't have to be. Very matter-of-factly tell your employer what you have going on and take the time to do it. You don't owe your coworkers any explanation unless your absence effects them directly.
Take the time you need to execute your job properly and to parent in the way you'd like. Your employer and coworkers don't need to understand. You are the mama and the bread winner. Only you need to understand.
Keep Pushing
I know it is exhausting raising a child, maintaining your household and managing your career, but it is doable! A lot of us are out here doing it and you are not alone! As unpredictable as children are a schedule is still your best friend. Have a particular day you do laundry, a set time for stories and always schedule something for yourself. A 15 minute cup of tea can go a long way. Remember, children do not stay small forever and it will not always be this hard. You've got this mama!
Tell us your experiences below and don't forget to subscribe below!
Comentarios